Here’s a random question: why are you with your boyfriend? If he’s not doing things to prove that you should be with him, you’re settling for less than you deserve. Here are 13 things he should be doing. If he’s not, he can GTFO.
1. HE RESPECTS YOUR BOUNDARIES.
Something about him really pisses you off, like how he flirts with your friends or doesn’t ever make time to do things you want to do. But he’s not open to changing. Ugh. He’d rather just continue upsetting you, even though you both know that if he were a decent boyfriend he wouldn’t disrespect you or your dealbreakers.
2. HE REMINDS YOU OF WHO YOU WERE BEFORE HIM.
Just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you should forget about the life and people you had before your BF came along. When last did you actually spend time working towards your goals and dreams? The right guy will make you feel like you’re not trapped in the relationship but can and must have your own fabulous life.
3. HE WAS FINE AS A SINGLE DUDE.
He really loved his single life, even though he obviously loves being with you more. But listen, he should love the life he had before you. It shows that he can make himself happy and he’s not desperate AF. He’s with you because he chooses to be, not because he needs you. That makes for a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. Never settle for a clingy guy who just wants someone to keep his bed warm.
4. HIS LOVE IS IN THE DEETS.
It’s really the little things that show you he loves you, like how he brings an umbrella to a date because it’s raining and how he remembers you’re allergic to berries. If you’re settling, you’ll hear your BF say the words “I love you” but they’ll feel as meaningless as if he were giving you a weather report for the Bahamas.
5. HE WALKS TALLER BESIDE YOU.
He makes it clear you’re his GF. He’s proud to have you on his arm. He doesn’t hide you away from his friends and family. If he does the latter, he’s not serious about you and you can do better.
6. HE LETS YOU PUT YOUR HAIR DOWN.
He makes you feel that you can be real and comfy AF around him. You don’t have to be on guard. You don’t feel judged in his presence. You don’t feel that you have to earn his love, such as by losing five kilos or getting a different job. You’re perfect for him just the way you are.
7. HE LIGHTS UP YOUR BRAIN.
It’s been over a year of dating him and he still makes you feel intrigued. You want to get inside his head and figure out how his mind works. You want to learn so much more about him. If he’s boring you and you stay with him, you’re settling for a mediocre relationship.
8. HE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A CELEBRITY.
He doesn’t have to do grand gestures to make you feel special, but he must show you that he makes you a priority. He drives across town to see you even if he’s had a busy AF day. He runs you a bath when you’re late. He offers to help you with a project that you’re working on. Around him, you feel supported and like you matter.
9. HE HAS A BACKBONE.
A wishbone is great for a guy to have. It shows that he can dream. But if he’s all wishbone and no backbone, it’s a problem. He’s the guy who’ll tell you how much of a better man he wants to be, but then never actually commits to becoming that guy. A guy should know who he is and be strong in himself and do what he says. Otherwise, what’s the point of being with him? If he doesn’t have a strong sense of self, he can’t be in a healthy relationship. You’ll never get the guy you deserve.
10. HE SEES YOU AS AN EQUAL.
It sounds like a really basic thing to want in a BF, but you’ll be surprised how many guys break this rule. SMH. You want a guy who’ll speak to you about his business idea the way he does with his friends without acting like you won’t understand. You want a guy who isn’t threatened by how much money or success you earn, but who supports you. You want a guy who doesn’t cage you in with traditional roles, and who respects you. You can’t genuinely be happy with a guy who doesn’t see you as an equal.
11. HE’S PREDICTABLE.
You don’t want a guy who’s predictable (read: boring). Well, actually you do in one area: you want him to be reliable and consistent AF when it comes to his word. If he says he’ll call, he does. If he says he’ll see you tomorrow, he pitches without giving you a lame excuse for not being able to meet you. If you’re always waiting around for a guy, you’re not only settling, you’re wasting your time.
12. HE SATISFIES YOU.
In the bedroom, you feel like he always manages to give you loads of pleasure and he’s keen to communicate about your sexual needs so that he can go the extra mile to give you what you want. It might not seem like a big deal for your boyfriend to please you in the bedroom, but you deserve nothing less. Besides, if he can’t please you in the bedroom, it says a lot about your relationship outside of it.
13. HIS LITTLE QUIRKS ARE CUTE.
The way he slurps his soup and takes forever to tie his shoelaces is actually really cute, not weird or annoying. See, when the guy’s quirks are still adorable instead of infuriating AF, that’s when you know you’re with the right guy. Once the small things start pissing you off big time, they tend to snowball into other things. They’re often signs that you’re not happy with the guy in general and your frustration is starting to show.