All relationships, from marriage to friendship, base their foundation on absolute trust. When the relationship is something as long-term as marriage, it can be even more devastating to find out that your significant other is cheating on you. Infidelity in relationships does not only lead to resentment but can also cause a major drop in your confidence and self-esteem.
Manoeuvring through the ups and downs of a relationship is nothing out of the extraordinary. However, cheating is not just a minor hurdle but a potentially life-altering altercation. It is possible that a problem rooted at home sets it off, but it is also entirely possible that your spouse in a compulsive cheater. Either way, being unfaithful can tear a marriage apart.
Cheating has a profound effect on a relationship and is a leading cause of divorces. It does not only make you question the other person’s love for you but also makes you reevaluate your own sense of self-worth. Scientific research claims that the pain you feel if you discover your partner cheating, can be equated directly to the pain you feel at the death of someone you loved.
To avoid being caught blindsided, but also not risking looking like an absolute maniac by hiring a private investigator, here are a few signs that can help you assess if your partner has been sneaking around behind your back.
9. Spending Less Time With You
If your partner is spending significantly less time with you, it might be a sign of a problem lurking just beneath the surface. When you love someone, you want to spend as much time with them as humanly possible. The fact that they are willing to sacrifice that means that the relationship isn’t going as smoothly as you might like.
They might develop a new hobby, make new friends or start working longer hours. While all these things are natural, if you feel like they are going out of their way to avoid you then you might need to investigate a few things.
8. They Give Vague Answers
In a healthy relationship, no one should be subjected to giving their partner explanations about their every move. However, when you are married to someone, it is only natural to let them know about your plans for the day. If your significant other is acting particularly dodgy and giving vague answers, they might actually be trying to hide something.
If you can’t catch them on their phone and they keep telling you it is battery was dying, or if they don’t elaborate where they are going when they go out, they might be cheating on you.
7. They Are Secretive
Pay attention if your partner has suddenly become more secretive around you. They might start going out of the room to attend a call, or never leave their phone unguarded. If they are browsing on the computer, they might suddenly shut down tabs as soon as you get in the room. The only reason your partner would suddenly start being this secretive is if they were deliberately trying to hide things from you.
If your partner has always been a private person, then that’s a different story. However, if this need for privacy is newfound then you might want to spend some time to look into it.
6. You Argue More
All couples, especially married ones, tend to fight. If you are going to spend a significant amount of time with someone, it is impossible to not get into a few arguments with them. However, if the fighting is incessant and pointless, it might be a sign of something else. While having an affair, they might feel more guilty and irritable, and thus more likely to fight with you.
Keeping a secret, which too one as big as being disloyal, can take a toll on anyone. In order to deal with their feelings, it is only natural that your partner will start picking inconsequential fights with you to divide the blame and feel better about themselves.
To make it further clearer if your partner is indeed disloyal to you, pay attention to the subject of the fights. A cheating partner will want to make you feel bad about yourself so that they can rationalize the cheating to themselves.
They will make you feel like your relationship is damaging, and you are the problem. Instead of breaking away or letting this bother you, try to look at the cause of the problem before it is too late.
5. Lack Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is one of the most important aspects of a romantic relationship. Being intimate is what distinguishes a platonic relationship from a romantic one. If your married life lacks physical intimacy all of a sudden, it is a definite cause for alarm. When having an affair, your partner might start showing less affection, or at least stop initiating it.
Small things like casual hugs to affectionately stroking your hair as you sleep, everything is a testimony to the strength of your relationship. If your married life is lacking in the physical aspect, it is barely fair to call it a married relationship. Pay heed to these small signs or your marriage will definitely suffer, with or without the cheating.
4. More Effort Into Their Appearance
Pay attention if your partner has suddenly started paying more attention to how they look. Have they suddenly started going to the gym or gotten a daring new haircut? Maybe they are completely changing their look and buying an entirely new wardrobe? Or maybe they go out, laden with perfume and makeup? All these scenarios point to the obvious fact that they have someone new in their life whom they desperately want to impress.
3. They Are Distant
If all of a sudden, your spouse is acting emotionally distant, it might be signs of an underlying problem. When two people are part of a loving and healthy relationship, there is no room for distance between them. They want to include each other in everything they do and will be affectionate without you ever needing to ask.
If being close to you is not coming to them naturally, someone else might be standing between you two, preventing you from getting too close to each other.
2. They Swipe Their Phone
While everyone is entitled to their own privacy in a relationship, that in no way means that you get to hide things from your spouse. If your significant other is making an extra effort to not leave their phone unguarded, the chances are that they have something to hide. It gets even more suspicious if when you view their phone, it has been cleared completely.
No one deletes their call logs and messages log frequently enough for their phones to be completely clean if they don’t have something incriminating on them.
1. Making Plans Without You
When you are married, you start doing everything as part of a couple. From going out with friends, to planning vacations, everything involves your spouse. If your partner is not only making plans without you, but is also making decisions without even consulting with you there might be a problem headed your way. If you are not an active part of all of your partner’s decisions, the chances are that there might be someone else steering his decisions entirely.